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On Se Dit Oui: Understanding the Nuances of Saying ‘Yes’ in French Weddings

The phrase “on se dit oui” translates to “we say yes” in French. It’s a pivotal moment, the culmination of a journey, and the beginning of a new chapter, especially within the context of a French wedding. Understanding the cultural significance and legal requirements surrounding this simple phrase is crucial for anyone planning or attending a wedding in France. This article explores the intricacies of saying “on se dit oui,” delving into the traditions, legal aspects, and emotional weight behind this declaration of commitment.

The Legal Framework: Mariage in France

Before even considering the romantic aspects, it’s important to understand the legal framework surrounding marriage in France. Unlike some countries, France requires a civil ceremony, performed by the mayor (or a designated official) at the town hall (mairie), *before* any religious ceremony can take place. This civil ceremony is the only legally binding part of the marriage. Saying “on se dit oui” in the mairie is what officially makes the couple husband and wife.

Pre-Wedding Requirements

The process leading up to the civil ceremony involves several steps. Couples must present specific documents, including:

Birth certificates (actes de naissance)
Proof of address (justificatif de domicile)
Identification documents (pièces d’identité)
If applicable, divorce decrees or death certificates of previous spouses

These documents must often be translated into French by a certified translator. The couple must also publish banns (publication des bans) at the town hall, announcing their intention to marry. This allows anyone with a legal objection to come forward. The waiting period after the banns are published is typically ten days, excluding weekends and holidays.

The Civil Ceremony: Le Mariage Civil

The civil ceremony is usually a relatively short and formal affair. The mayor or designated official reads articles from the French Civil Code pertaining to marriage, outlining the rights and responsibilities of each spouse. Key articles often read are Article 212 (mutual respect, fidelity, help and assistance), Article 213 (jointly ensure the moral and material direction of the family), and Article 214 (contribute to household expenses according to their means).

Following the reading of the articles, the pivotal question is posed: “Voulez-vous prendre pour époux(se) ici présent(e)…?” (Do you take this person here present as your spouse?). The couple responds, ideally, with a resounding “Oui!” This is where “on se dit oui” becomes reality. Both partners must affirmatively say “oui” for the marriage to be valid. After both parties have said “oui,” the mayor pronounces them married: “Au nom de la loi, je vous déclare unis par les liens du mariage” (In the name of the law, I declare you united in marriage). The couple and their witnesses then sign the marriage registry (registre des mariages).

The Religious Ceremony: Le Mariage Religieux

After the civil ceremony, couples may choose to have a religious ceremony in a church, temple, or other place of worship. While beautiful and often deeply personal, the religious ceremony has no legal standing in France. The vows exchanged during the religious ceremony are purely symbolic, a testament to the couple’s faith and commitment to each other in the eyes of their religion. However, even in the religious ceremony, the essence of “on se dit oui” is present, albeit rephrased within the context of the religious vows.

Cultural Significance: More Than Just Saying ‘Yes’

Saying “on se dit oui” in a French wedding is more than just a legal formality; it’s a cultural touchstone steeped in tradition and symbolism. The act of publicly declaring commitment in front of family, friends, and the state represents a significant step in adulthood and social integration. The mairie itself, often a beautiful and historic building, adds to the gravitas of the occasion. The exchange of vows, whether during the civil or religious ceremony, is a moment of profound emotion, a promise of lifelong devotion and partnership. The phrase “on se dit oui” encapsulates this promise, embodying the couple’s shared decision to embark on a life together.

Wedding Traditions Associated with “On Se Dit Oui”

Several wedding traditions in France are directly linked to the concept of “on se dit oui” and the celebration of marriage:

The Croquembouche: A tower of cream-filled profiteroles held together with caramel, symbolizing the couple’s shared life and the sweet things to come.
Confetti or Rice Throwing: A tradition symbolizing fertility and good fortune for the newlyweds.
The Wedding Procession: The couple’s journey from the mairie or church to the reception venue, symbolizing their new life together.
La Pièce Montée: Another elaborate dessert, often a multi-tiered cake, representing the couple’s commitment and the layers of their relationship.

Modern Interpretations: Evolving Traditions

While the core legal requirements of marriage in France remain unchanged, modern couples are increasingly personalizing their ceremonies and traditions. They may choose to write their own vows, incorporating elements of their shared history and future aspirations. They might opt for a secular ceremony outdoors, officiated by a friend or family member, in addition to the required civil ceremony. The phrase “on se dit oui” remains central, but the way it’s expressed and celebrated can vary widely, reflecting the couple’s individual personalities and values.

Same-Sex Marriage: “On Se Dit Oui” for All

Since 2013, same-sex marriage has been legal in France, extending the right to say “on se dit oui” to all couples, regardless of gender. This landmark legislation has been a significant step towards equality and inclusivity, allowing same-sex couples to experience the same rights and responsibilities as heterosexual couples. The legal and cultural significance of saying “on se dit oui” applies equally to all couples who choose to marry in France.

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Planning a French Wedding

Planning a wedding in France can be challenging, especially for couples who are not familiar with the local customs and legal requirements. Here are some common mistakes to avoid:

Ignoring the Civil Ceremony: As mentioned earlier, the civil ceremony is the only legally binding part of the marriage. Don’t overlook its importance and ensure you meet all the necessary requirements.
Underestimating the Paperwork: Gathering and translating the required documents can be time-consuming. Start the process well in advance of your wedding date.
Failing to Hire a Bilingual Planner: A bilingual wedding planner can be invaluable in navigating the complexities of the French wedding industry and ensuring that everything runs smoothly.
Not Understanding the Cultural Nuances: Research and respect French wedding traditions. While you can personalize your wedding, it’s important to be aware of the cultural norms.

Conclusion: The Enduring Power of “On Se Dit Oui”

The phrase “on se dit oui” represents so much more than a simple affirmation. It is a declaration of love, commitment, and a shared future. It is the cornerstone of a legally recognized union and a cultural symbol of profound significance. Whether you are planning a traditional French wedding or a modern celebration, understanding the nuances of saying “on se dit oui” will help you appreciate the richness and depth of this timeless tradition. Saying “on se dit oui” in France is a truly special moment, a memory that will last a lifetime. The simple act of saying “on se dit oui” binds two people together in a legally and culturally significant way. Remember that when you “on se dit oui” in France, you’re participating in a rich and meaningful tradition. The impact of “on se dit oui” extends far beyond the ceremony itself. So, when you hear “on se dit oui,” remember the weight and beauty of that simple phrase. Understanding “on se dit oui” is key to appreciating a French wedding. Ultimately, “on se dit oui” signifies the start of a new journey, together. The phrase “on se dit oui” is at the heart of every French marriage. The power of “on se dit oui” should never be underestimated. The magic of the moment when “on se dit oui” is palpable. Saying “on se dit oui” is a profound and meaningful act. So, when planning a French wedding, remember the importance of “on se dit oui.”

[See also: French Wedding Traditions to Incorporate into Your Big Day]

[See also: Legal Requirements for Getting Married in France]

[See also: Planning a Destination Wedding in France: A Comprehensive Guide]